Dear Dads: There is Success in Failure

Mike Perez, long time coach for the Corona Angels and Intensity talks about his experience being both a dad and a coach. Mike shares his experience putting high expectations on his daughter, Mandy, and some of the key lessons he learned from that experience. Thank you Mike for being honest, vulnerable, and doing good in the world.

Alright, Mike, you've been a long-time coach and a dad, and you've watched your daughter grow up and now play at the collegiate level. What's been the toughest thing or biggest struggle for you as a dad and coach?
Uh, probably the first thing would be as a dad I really focused early on on the results. I placed too much emphasis on her being successful always with her results and I didn't realize that there was a huge amount of failure in this game, and you could still be successful with that failure. So once I understood that it's more of the approach that you should focus on rather than the results, and if you can master the approach and be perfect in your approach your results come out a lot better.

What did you learn as a dad and a coach? I guess answer the dad part first.
That I'm not always in control. Within my household, you know, I try to maintain control, but on the dirt there's a lot of things out of your control. So that part of the game really humbled me.

I bet that was a challenge..
Oh yeah, and you know, in my sport being a former collegiate wrestler, I couldn't lose. But in this game, you can within the game and still be successful on the scoreboard. So that was a tough thing for me to understand.

How did that experience or lesson change you?
It made my relationship with my daughter so much better. We weren't having those very loud, quiet rides home after she didn't have a good game. It really brought home the fact to me that at the end of the day, she's still going to be my daughter.

Beautiful. And I think sometimes through all of this, we forget that we're all these different things to different people. We're a dad, we're a coach, we're a mentor. Who's been the most influential person in your life to help shape you?
Oh...definitely my mom. Single mom with five kids, you know, to just get it done and raise us. You know, then my stepfather, who entered my life, was a really big influence on me. Being a firefighter, every day I just think about how my dad strapped on his boots and went to work and never complained one time. And fed his five kids and clothed us, and said his biggest satisfaction would be that his children are successful, and we weren't even his real blood. My father's just a rock, you know, and if I can be a portion of the man he is I'll be alright.

Well, I think you're doing that, Mike, and I just want to say I appreciate your positive energy and I appreciate all you do for the girls out here.
Well, I appreciate you guys and the fact that you are here and covering more than just balls and strikes, you know, really says and means a lot. So I want to thank you guys for that.

Thanks, Mike.
Alright, take care.