Each week we take a question from a softball player, parent or coach and pass on to our long-time contributor, Cathi Aradi, one of the most knowledgeable people in softball when it comes to the recruiting process.

If you’d like to ask Cathi a question, e-mail us at brentt.eads@flosports.tv and we’ll pass it along.

Today, we hear her insights about an athlete playing for a coach where there might be a personality conflict..

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Recruiting Question: I play 14U club and I was recently asked to play for a famous team in Southern California and they are great at playing in front of a lot of college coaches and in high exposure tournaments.  I’d do it but my worry is the coach is pretty intense and yells a lot (that’s what I’ve heard from friends on the team).  I don’t know if I would like playing for him, but he does get a ton of players scholarships.  My parents think I should do it but I don’t know.  What do you think? — Anonymous, Calif.

Cathi’s Answer:  This can be a dilemma, and there really isn’t a right or wrong answer. It is important that you be self driven — in other words you play hard and work hard because you love the game and want to get better, and not because someone is pushing you.

But good coaches usually know when players need a little nudge, and great coaches know just when to give the player a little more than a nudge. But the very best coaches know that positive teaching methods and positive reinforcement will achieve far more with most athletes than a kick in the pants.

It’s the job of these travel coaches to prepare you for playing at the college level.  However, you are still young, and you may not fully understand what it would be like to play in college, particularly at a highly competitive program. Many coaches at top Division I schools are famous for being extremely tough and demanding.  This is not necessarily a bad thing, but not every coaching style is right for every player.

If you know that you are uncomfortable playing and do not do your best when someone is yelling and screaming at you, you may want to look for a coach with different style of motivating and teaching.  This would apply both to travel ball and college softball.

I’m sure your parents want the absolute best for you. However, if you really feel this might not be the kind of team where you would thrive, you may want to have an honest conversation with your parents and explain that you would like to look for good travel team with coaches who perhaps approach teaching and coaching in another way.

You might point out to them that if you aren’t motivated to play your best because you are uncomfortable with or afraid of the coach, you’re not going to enjoy playing softball. And if you don’t enjoy it there’s a very good chance you will eventually stop playing altogether.

There are many paths to playing in college. There are all kinds of teams and lots of opportunities if you know how to conduct your college search. But the first rule is you have to love the game and you have to want to play for that reason only…regardless of the team’s name or affiliation.

It is highly unlikely that you will become a millionaire playing softball or coaching softball when you graduate college. Those four years should be the best of your life so far, and that means doing something you love.

You could always try playing for this team and then change teams if you’re really unhappy. But don’t let anyone pressure you into doing something you don’t want to do simply because it might – – and I stress the word might – – help you find a college team down the road.  Many things can happen to change the direction of your life between now and the time you set foot on a college field. So you want to really enjoy what you’re doing right now. Plan for the future and look ahead, but have fun in the meantime.

— Cathi Aradi

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Catharine Aradi is the author of Preparing to Play Softball at the Collegiate Level, published by the National Fastpitch Coaches Assoc. (www.nfca.org).  She has over 20 years of experience working as a recruiting consultant with athletes and colleges around the U.S and Canada.  If you would like knowledgeable, one-on-one guidance through the often bewildering labyrinth of recruiting, Ms. Aradi’s company, Collegiate Softball Connection, offers “concierge” recruiting services.  Unlike corporate websites that rely upon mass marketing of hundreds and hundreds of athletes, Ms. Aradi works with the individual player and her family to ensure a successful college search.  Detailed information is available on her website www.fastpitchrecruiting.com. Cathi can be reached by e-mail at info@fastpitchrecruiting.com or by calling 415-456-6449. Remember: if you use the code “fullcountsoftball” when signing up with CSC, you will be entitled to a $100 discount off her Fast Track or Elite options!

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